I just don't get...

[zwol]

(Apropos various conversations on various blogs over the past few months) I just don't get why some adults think children must be completely shielded from any sight, sound, or discussion of anything related to sex. Well, actually, I get it if they're talking about postpubescent children, who might (shock! horror!) want to try it themselves. I think they're wrong, but I can comprehend their position.

What I really don't get is the panic at the thought of a prepubescent child having any idea that adults have sex. For them, it's going to be another thing that adults enjoy for no apparent reason, like drinking coffee. I mean, if I ever have children, I fully anticipate having to have this conversation at some point:

CHILD: What were those noises coming from the bedroom last night?
ME: Oh, er, Mommy and I were having sex.
CHILD: What's sex?
ME: It's a thing grownups like to do. It's like kissing, only with your entire body, and it takes longer, and sometimes we make funny noises while we're doing it.
CHILD: Eww, gross!
ME: Trust me, grownups like it. It'll make more sense when you're older.

And probably no more need be said until it does start making more sense. Mind you, I agree that the Folsom Street Fair and similar are not appropriate activities for small children — but it's because I am certain they would be bored.

CHILD: Why is that man wearing that?
ME: He thinks he looks good in it.
CHILD: Isn't he cold?
ME: Probably.
CHILD: Can we go to the park now?

Comments

[thette.livejournal.com]

Yes. I've used the "Please leave us alone, we're having grown-up fun" line when Hulda got too curious.

[(Anonymous)]

I was drawing in class one day, and my teacher asked me if the horses were playing with each other.

"No," I said cheerfully. "They're mating."

I think the keeping information from kids thing will get sillier and sillier as people become more internet-based.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I'll go farther than that. I think it was actively good for me as a child to have the general concept that my parents had a close relationship that was not all about me. I think it was good for me to understand, as I gained an understanding of what sex was, that my parents had it, and would continue having it, and that it was important that I leave them alone sometimes so they could. It's all part of the "what do healthy adult relationships entail" lesson, and the "the world does not revolve around me" lesson.

[zwol.livejournal.com]

Yes indeed.

Thing is, I figure "don't barge into Mommy and Daddy's room when the door is closed" is a rule before sex ever comes up. It's just as not-ok if we're sleeping, watching a scary movie, or having a private conversation...

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Right. Privacy is important. Trust is important, too.

When timprov was sick enough to have to be taken to the hospital at 2:00 a.m., he knocked first. If we hadn't answered the knock, I have every faith that he would have come in to wake us to take him to the hospital. But "knock first" is a good rule in many life circumstances, not just the parent/child one.